Learning to Control Anger Can Improve Your Health
By Dorie L. Griggs
Anger management. Yes, it's the title of a movie starring Adam Sadler and Jack Nicholson, but it is also a big problem in our society. Do a Google search for "Anger Management" and you'll get over 380,000 hits. Most of these sites don't have anything to do with the movie. Anger is a natural emotion. It can be a healthy emotion to express. In the work environment however it is a hard emotion to express. Working in a time sensitive industry only increases the likelihood of anger increasing in the office. Deadlines, technology and a variety of personalities can combine to make for one very frustrating and anger-filled environment. Anger left unexpressed can internalize and cause physical problems. Repressed anger can come out in passive aggressive behavior, depression, or in a negative outlook of life in general. The key is to express anger in a constructive manner. Too many individuals channel their anger in destructive ways. When I was growing up we referred to it as the "kick the dog theory." This theory basically said a person who gets in trouble with a boss in the work place can't voice their anger at the boss. Instead they go home and for no reason kick the dog ö definitely not the best way to handle anger and frustration! If you have an encounter in the work place and feel yourself getting angry you do have options in how you respond. Your options include learning how to express your anger in a manner that does not harm yourself or another person. These options take practice.
- Count to ten. When we're angry, we use the emotional side of our brain. This is where the "four letter words" reside. Taking a minute to count to ten before you speak will bring you back into the rational side of your brain.
- Sleep on it. While related to the first suggestion, this advice applies to situations when a decision is announced and your first reaction is anger. Allowing a little time between the announcement and your reaction can help by allowing all the facts to be presented. We often get angry first and discover later our fears never materialize.
- Write out your response. Sometimes it helps to write everything down. All the things you want to say but don't feel you can. This is the version you keep in a private place or shred later. After writing all your venting then move to a more rational approach. Write down why or what upset you. Then write down how you can resolve the problem (remember you can't harm yourself or others!)
In some cases the pattern of anger has gone on for so long, outside counseling is needed to help you live a healthier life. Your friends and family will also give you clues that you need help. Taking that first step can be scary, but well worth the rewards. If you are a member of a faith community the clergy person may be a good resource for referrals. They can also offer practices within the framework of your faith system of how to work through anger. The American Psychological Association
Dorie L. Griggs holds a Master of Divinity degree and her ministry is to journalists. Contact her via e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org